Bearded lady, 41, slightly used, with squishy, puffball belly subtly disguised by low-lying nipples, seeks man with GSOH, porn allergies and willingness to share razor.
As I finished the last pistachio and gazed over the blue Aegean Sea, a promise of marital happiness peered back at me in the form of that annoying bastard – the romantic evening sunset.
‘Oh fuck off!’ I told it. It didn’t…
Most people might see a week’s holiday on a stunning Greek island as an opportunity to relax, rewind and recharge their batteries. Not me. As each day of my ‘break’ passed just last year, a novel began to emerge in my head that tap, tap, tapped me on the shoulder each day and night until finally, in an attack of “I can’t stand it anymore,” I bought a beautiful views of Greece emblazoned notebook at the airport and wrote an entire fourteen chapter overview for a comedy novel on the plane home, all the while chuckling to myself like a mad woman. Am now hoping said notebook might have a place in a museum one day beside J.K. Rowling’s writing chair. One can dream..
Relaxation breaker or not, it was good to get it all out on paper.
”The New Mrs D’ is the story of a woman’s action packed solo honeymoon in Greece. And yes, I said, ‘ solo’ honeymoon.
Don’t ask me why, during a holiday away with my own husband, I was dreaming up a scenario where a newly married forty something kicks out her louse-spouse and embarks on a series of holiday experiences of a lifetime alone. Because my answer would have nothing at all to do with enjoying a romantic, taverna-by-the-sea evening meal at a table conveniently placed in front of the TV for the European cup finals or any dashing, young Greek waiters I didn’t notice whilst not being distracted. No. Nothing at all. Love you Mr Hill! (Has he looked away yet?) Phew! 😉
With the tagline “when life throws shit at you… grow great, big, f*ck off roses!” The New Mrs D follows a two week voyage of self discovery with our heroine as, among other hilarious antics, she rides a horse through the sea at sunset, learns to paint, performs a duet on a nudist beach, contributes to a Greek fish explosion and snowboards down an ‘erupting’ volcano, all the while realising a series of hopes and dreams she had long forgotten existed. Mrs Dando is newly single on her honeymoon. The possibilities are endless…
To read a synopsis of THE NEW MRS D, Click HERE
Coming to a slush pile near you soon.