Hello Google, Are You There?


How odd.

I was looking at The New Mrs D on Amazon UK on Saturday morning, just 24 hours after it became available for pre-order, when I noticed the line:

#60 on Amazon’s Bestselling Women’s Fiction Humour List.

I blinked. I did a little wink. I refreshed the page. And, as I thought… I was wrong.

#28 on Amazon’s Bestselling Women’s Fiction Humour List


I went to my personal Facebook page and posted a status to family and friends that started something like this:

I’m not sure how all this works, but my book appears to be on Amazon’s Bestselling Women’s Fiction Humour List. Is this some kind of mistake or a fluke?

Someone commented that they didn’t realise I could play the fluke. I chuckled. Yeah, it’s a mistake.

I Googled, ‘how does Amazon sales ranking work?’ Like the expert, know-it-all author I am.

‘Oh that’s easy,’ said Google. ‘You’ve sold some books and now you are in the Amazon book charts.’

‘You mean, someone bought my book?’ I typed in the search box.

‘Look,’ said Google. ‘This space is a virtual search engine, not your own wannabe writer advice line.’

Okay, so I elaborated a little there…

After twelve publisher rejections and a few agent comments on my book being, ‘very funny but unmarketable’, there it is/was, on an Amazon best seller list – before it has even been published. My agent assisted, self published book.

I say ‘is/was’ because a couple of more seasoned authors have sent me various messages along the lines of, ‘take a screen print while it lasts.’

Sad but true. This felt like another rejection letter. One of those, ‘don’t you dare get excited about the future because the public doesn’t want you,’ ones.

Okay, it might not last. And I did take that screen print.

The New Mrs D on amazon

But you can’t take away my dream that it might last. You can’t stop me being stoked about being there on a list I’ve looked at countless times before, admiring the work of some of my favourite authors and looking for some new reads. You can’t stop me making little cut and paste pictures with me at number one for my own amusement. Just jesting! (No she’s not – Ed)

Yesterday, for one glorious moment in my authoring life, The New Mrs D reached number eleven in that chart. For one glorious moment I was TEN places behind Helen Fielding’s Mad About The Boy.

Can I just enjoy this moment please? If it does become my very own mini Andy Warhol time, I’ll take it anyway. 🙂

A huge thanks to EVERYONE who pre-ordered. I’m doing a little dance as I type. Well, I need a wee…

And this for all the aspiring writers out there. Don’t let them hold you back. It’s not over until you say it is.

20 Replies to “Hello Google, Are You There?”

  1. Hey Bestie (that’s short for Fellow Best Seller List Appearerer.. !) It may be fleeting, but no-one can take our screen shots away from us! :)) I really wish publishers would take a chance on new talent, give us a better platform to reach more readers, but until that day, we have Amazon and the wonderful readers who DO take a chance. Best of luck with the launch – who knows what your ranking will be when it’s actually published! x

    1. Thank you Evie, I made a start on your marvellous ‘The Mystery Baker on Rue De Paris’ last night. Loving it. PS I sooo wish I’d called this post ‘They Can’t Take Our Screen Prints Away From Us.’ 😀

      1. You’ve seriously made my day 🙂 Thanks so much Heather (I’m practically blushing!) ‘They Can’t Take Our Screen Prints Away From Us’ sounds like an 80′s rock song – leave it with me, I’ll come up with some chords… Meantime, you’re at #26 in the charts!

  2. Congrats long may it continue.
    My own writerly fantasy is imagining that I’m on a writers panel at some festival with all my writing heroes, though I’m not sure Shakespeare does many festivals these days.
    So go and pick out a nice frame for the screen shot so that you can start a collection!

  3. Congrats on the ranking – always a thrill – no brevity aside and all of that. I see your book is due to be released on July 4th in Canada. Looking forward to that. It sounds like quite a lark and would make a great summer read.

    1. Yes, you can’t pre-order in Canada & US unfortunately Francis – so I cannot wait to see what happens there after publication day. Canada is a place I’ve always wanted to visit, so if you can just tell a few thousand friends I might make it over there 😉 But seriously, thank you! I have a potential reader in Canada! More great news xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s