Tag Archives: Amazon

Hello Google, Are You There?


How odd.

I was looking at The New Mrs D on Amazon UK on Saturday morning, just 24 hours after it became available for pre-order, when I noticed the line:

#60 on Amazon’s Bestselling Women’s Fiction Humour List.

I blinked. I did a little wink. I refreshed the page. And, as I thought… I was wrong.

#28 on Amazon’s Bestselling Women’s Fiction Humour List


I went to my personal Facebook page and posted a status to family and friends that started something like this:

I’m not sure how all this works, but my book appears to be on Amazon’s Bestselling Women’s Fiction Humour List. Is this some kind of mistake or a fluke?

Someone commented that they didn’t realise I could play the fluke. I chuckled. Yeah, it’s a mistake.

I Googled, ‘how does Amazon sales ranking work?’ Like the expert, know-it-all author I am.

‘Oh that’s easy,’ said Google. ‘You’ve sold some books and now you are in the Amazon book charts.’

‘You mean, someone bought my book?’ I typed in the search box.

‘Look,’ said Google. ‘This space is a virtual search engine, not your own wannabe writer advice line.’

Okay, so I elaborated a little there…

After twelve publisher rejections and a few agent comments on my book being, ‘very funny but unmarketable’, there it is/was, on an Amazon best seller list – before it has even been published. My agent assisted, self published book.

I say ‘is/was’ because a couple of more seasoned authors have sent me various messages along the lines of, ‘take a screen print while it lasts.’

Sad but true. This felt like another rejection letter. One of those, ‘don’t you dare get excited about the future because the public doesn’t want you,’ ones.

Okay, it might not last. And I did take that screen print.

The New Mrs D on amazon

But you can’t take away my dream that it might last. You can’t stop me being stoked about being there on a list I’ve looked at countless times before, admiring the work of some of my favourite authors and looking for some new reads. You can’t stop me making little cut and paste pictures with me at number one for my own amusement. Just jesting! (No she’s not – Ed)

Yesterday, for one glorious moment in my authoring life, The New Mrs D reached number eleven in that chart. For one glorious moment I was TEN places behind Helen Fielding’s Mad About The Boy.

Can I just enjoy this moment please? If it does become my very own mini Andy Warhol time, I’ll take it anyway. 🙂

A huge thanks to EVERYONE who pre-ordered. I’m doing a little dance as I type. Well, I need a wee…

And this for all the aspiring writers out there. Don’t let them hold you back. It’s not over until you say it is.